Seven

Seven

            Their tummies full after lunch at their favorite Bistro, the fading sun shone into the car while Jan nodded off in the back seat.  Diana had grabbed the front seat on the way home before Jan had a chance to, she dozed as well.  Melissa drove along in companionable silence. The craggy coastline delivered its finest splendor making for an exceptional fall day. Even the typical never ceasing wind had remained still, as if just for them.

            Melissa smiled to herself as she imagined the Lodgepole Pine appreciating the calm.  All along the coast their branches were forced east because of the ever-prevailing wind.  Short and stubby they survived when other species wouldn’t have.  Surprisingly they were perpetually evergreen year-round.

            “Hey sleepy heads,” Melissa softly called out, “Wake up!”

            Diana quietly responded eyes still closed, “I wasn’t sleeping. Just resting my eyes.”

            “I doubt that,” Jan stretched and yawned from the back, “Nothing like a little afternoon snooze to recharge the batteries.”

            “Sun will set soon,” Melissa explained, “I thought we could stop off at Yaquina Head Lighthouse and enjoy it from there.” 

            “Should be a nice one,” commented Diana, “there’s just enough clouds to lend it color.”

            “Count me in,” Jan agreed.

            Melissa flipped the blinker and turned right onto the winding road to the lighthouse.  This time of year, and day it should be deserted.  Perfect for watching the sunset and lights of Newport to awaken. She pulled into the perfect parking lot spot for watching the day wane.

            “Oh, how pretty,” Diana unbuckled the belt, leaning forward. “Should we get out?”

            Melissa looked back at Jan who had scooted to the middle, leaned forward between the front seats and said; “Let’s stay put, it’ll probably be cool as the sun goes down.”

            “The bay is so calm, as Ed would say an indicator that a storm is on its way.” Melissa stated.

            “I would guess those dark clouds on the horizon will arrive by midnight and dump rain on us again,” Jan groaned.  Melissa and Diana laughed in unison at Jan’s usual pout about the weather. 

            “Wow look at those shades of orange, topped by a tinge of pink!” Melissa observed, “I’d say let’s take a picture but I don’t think my phone would capture the brilliance.”

            “There goes the sun sinking ever further into the ocean’s abyss,” Jan stated the obvious.

            “An awesome day,” Diana said.  “Let’s wait for the evening star to come out before we go, okay?”

            “Good idea,” agreed Jan. “I doubt we get many more days like this.”

            They watched as the sun slowly sank below the horizon, pulling it’s fading light with it. Stars began to hesitantly twinkle overhead. The lighthouse blinked its usual light pattern which kept seafarers safe on their journeys.  Off in the distance faint lights could be seen floating on the dark ocean’s surface. 

            “What a lovely day it’s been,” Melissa sighed, “Just what I needed.”

            “Practically perfection,” Diana affirmed.

            “At our age we can probably count on one hand the number we have left,” Jan said.

            “Oh. My. Goodness,” Melissa exclaimed and chuckled, “You just are not going to get over this age thing are you.”

            “Heck no!” Jan defended herself, “I’m going to milk it for all it’s worth!”

            “Seriously, I’m so glad we get to grow old together,” Melissa began, “I don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t have you guys in my life.”

            “The feeling is mutual,” Diana responded as she patted Melissa on the arm.

            “I want to thank both of you for being there the past few months.  You’ve put up with me as I’ve tried to find my way through my family nonsense,” Melissa said with gratitude.

            “Just as you’ve always been there for us,” Jan reminded her.

            “If you don’t feel like talking about it, I totally understand,” said Diana, “but how are you doing, really?”

            “Better,” Melissa began, “Counseling has helped immensely.”

            “That’s great! I take it you really like her,” Diana commented.

            “Yes, she’s given me some really valuable tools to help with healing and unburying my emotions.”

            “How?” Diana simply asked.

            “When I began, she tested me to check my level of depression.  Which kind off scared me when it came back that I was one point from clinical depression,” Melissa cringed.  “To think if Ed hadn’t pushed me to get counseling, I could’ve needed meds to get out of it.”

            “That is scary,” Diana validated, eyebrows raised. “I take it you told her what happened with your mother.”

            “I did.  I told her about moving her closer to me because she was developing health issues. In her late seventies. Had a bad back, wasn’t driving anymore and that she wanted to live closer to one of her kids,” she shrugged.  “I mean Jen’s reaction when she heard mom was moving out of Arizona wasn’t, ‘Hi sis how are you?’  But without so much as a hello started off with ‘Has hell froze over!’ We were stunned and shocked that she wanted to move back here!  But also relieved she was willing to do what needed done for a change!”

            “I know some thought you were making a huge mistake,” Diana added.

            Melissa shook her head, “Oh yea, a couple couldn’t resist saying, I told you so! But I have absolutely no regrets for moving her here. None!”

            “What was her take on how your mom went behind your back and arranged to move?” Diana asked.

            “Fortunately, she was able to sort through my babbling that first session.  Time was so limited, to try and tell the Reader’s Digest condensed version felt like I wasn’t always making sense.  Because, after all, how do you explain someone like my mother without sounding critical and judgmental, or as I my brother would say ‘bat-shit crazy’!”

            Jan chuckled from the back seat, “Sorry, I can just hear Sam saying that.”

            “Too true,” Melissa chuckled and continued with a sigh, “I told her how mother sprung the news on me.  How I’d been pretty busy and hadn’t spent much time with her.  After three months I was finally finished with State Grand Jury.  I got out early so I swung by the store, picked up her favorite yogurt and stopped to surprise her with it before I went to my hair appointment.”

            “She was on the phone when I got there and promptly hung up when I came in. I only had a half hour so I breezily chatted about my day. A cousin was visiting from Eastern Oregon so we discussed the next few days plan with her. When I sat down at the table, I noticed out of the corner of my eye an envelope with my name on it, but didn’t say anything.”

            “When I mentioned I had to leave in ten minutes she pointed it out to me and told me to take and read it at home. I told her no. I would read it now.  She protested.  I said that her letter began by explaining how unhappy she was and that she’d decided to move to California with a niece.  I reminded her that she’d been told if she tried to move again, I would not help her.  She, of course, said she had it all taken care of and I wouldn’t need to.  I reminded her that she didn’t have any business moving and needed to stay put.  She explained how miserable she was and that she felt like she lived in a prison.”

            “She wanted me to read the letter to Sam and Jennifer. I told her no. She would have to tell them she was moving.  As she continued to justify her decision I’d had enough.  I told her if she did this I was done!  She wouldn’t listen to anything I had to say.  I finally realized I needed to leave or I would say something I regretted.  I got up with the letter and stormed out the door.  I was seething!”

            “I called Sam and told him what happened.  I let my counselor know he’d never heard me that angry.  By the time I got home I’d calmed down some but still reeling from what she’d done.  Ed got just as angry when I told him.  I let my cousin know what was happening and that I would not want to spend the day with mom the next day as we’d planned.”

            “I’m sorry you guys,” Melissa stopped herself, “I know you’ve heard all this”

            “Hey,” Jan said, “I can tell counseling must be helping as you’re not getting as wound up as you used to when telling it.”

            “Please continue,” Diana encouraged her.

            “I won’t bore you with details you already know,” Melissa said, “I told her about going and getting all the stuff friends had loaned or given to help set her apartment up when she’d moved here. I knew she’d sell it to pay for her move, and the last thing I wanted was her to benefit financially.”

            “I told her I’d given Mom a letter I’d written explaining what I meant by being done.  What the consequences would be if she moved.  That I wanted no contact with her, removed from her life insurance policy and that the niece would be responsible for her as she got older.  I knew it was harsh when I wrote it. But I also knew I needed to do something I’d never done to try and get her attention. So that maybe, just maybe she’d change her mind.  Of course, she didn’t, but I had to try.”

            “I emphasized how mom followed me around as we moved stuff out of her apartment.  She wanted to know why I wouldn’t understand! Didn’t I want her to be happy.  A song and dance I’ve heard more times than I care to count in my life!  I told her to stay out of my way. I would explain before I left.  She got mad, told me it was her apartment, her life and not to tell her what to do.  She got in my face. Her stomach touched mine. She told me how mean and hateful I was. I expressed to my counselor how that if I have a regret, it’s that I didn’t turn around and walk away from her in that moment!”

            “I explained that even in the retelling I ‘ve been advised not to say what happened because Mom tells a different version.  The counselor helped me understand that as a narcissist, mom changed the story to fit her narrative.  Rather than admit she lost her balance and fell resulting in a back fracture. She chose to tell people I put my hand in the middle of her chest, shoved her to the floor and fractured her back!  Not only that, but as she lay there, I stepped over her to get something and back over her leaving her lie there! Which. Did. Not. Happen!”