Fourteen

           The melodious skyline tone told Melissa she’d received a text.  She opened the app and read a message from Sam; ‘So mom called this morning.  When you get the chance give me a call.’

            She frowned and wondered what was up with her mother now.  By default, Sam was her go to.  Only heaven knew how long that would last.  To say Sam and their mother couldn’t get along was an understatement.  She’d lost count of the times during Sam’s teenage years she’d sat between the two of them and mediated a truce of sorts.  As Jennifer reminded her with the two of them ‘done’ and out of mother’s life Sam had to deal with mom or be done. 

            The longest he’d ever gone not talking to ‘his’ mother was three years. Melissa had always kept mom up to date on his life.  Only recently she realized that probably wasn’t doing them a favor.  Because as long as mother had news about her kids, she’d never made an effort to figure out why they didn’t talk to her.  She was never at fault.  Not once did she initiate reconciliation when estranged from one of her kids. 

            They had always been the ones to contact her. Bury their hurt and anger, do what was considered the right thing.  Get over themselves, honor their mother and reconcile, but in all honesty they had capitulated. She’d be so glad they were talking to her again.  It validated, to her narcissistic mind, that they’d finally come to their senses and she’d been right all along.

            Melissa recalled the last conversation they had about Jennifer not calling or responding to her texts.  Mother had been so frustrated. She’d reminded mom how busy Jennifer was with teaching and her kids.  Melissa knew Jennifer just didn’t want to talk with mom, but of course she wasn’t going to tell her that. 

            In a rare burst of anger mom told her she needed to call Jennifer remind her that she was her mother and call her back! It had been three months since they’d talked! She should never be to busy to talk with her mother! Melissa had listened and never called Jennifer.  She knew her sister was beyond tired of capitulating.  

“Oh well,” she grimaced and dialed Sam’s number, “Water under the bridge.”

            Her brother’s familiar voice answered, “The cheese is really slipping off her cracker!”

            His humor had sustained them through the years when it came to mom stuff, “Really! Not even a hello,” she giggled, “Care to explain.”

            “Her short-term memory has gotten worse!  She sent me a birthday card and it came back. She’d used my old address. I don’t know how many times I repeated this address before she finally got it. Lynn overheard the call and asked if she was on drugs, that’s how bad it was!”

            “I’m not surprised,” Melissa sighed, “That’s what I tried to tell everybody who enabled mom to leave! Just like her brothers, she was headed into early dementia, and that was a year and a half ago. They told me I was nuts and oh so wrong! It was just age-related memory problems. After what we went through with Ed’s grandmother, I recognized the signs and symptoms.”

            “I hear ya! It’s extremely bad!” He emphasized.  “I need to brainstorm what to say if I should get a phone call about what to do with her.”

            “You could call her friend Karen.”

            “I’m not going to call anybody!” He said with distain, “I want to be prepared! So, I can tell whoever may call me, what they need to do!”

            “What are you thinking?” She asked.

            “I’m thinking I should tell them what they can go do with themselves,” He mocked.

            “Go for it!” She encouraged with a laugh.

            “I do plan on letting them know I can’t move her by me.  Jennifer isn’t going to want her and you certainly can’t take her again,” He stated matter of factly.

            “Even if I could, there’s not a snow balls chance in hell Ed would let it happen!”

            “Can’t blame the man,” Sam agreed, “He’s put up with his fair share of mom’s bullshit.”

            “It’s a wonder he was on board when we moved her here.  He was the one who checked on apartments and picked up applications for her,” Jennifer said.

            “The man has always had a strong sense of what’s the right thing to do.”

            “He certainly does! As the psychiatrist said during our home study years ago, he’s practical to the point of being rigid.  He’s sees things in black and white, very few shades of grey.  He stepped out of that comfort zone and got on board with moving mom here. He overlooked the times she’d told me to divorce him.  I mean,” exasperation laced her tone, “on our anniversary she called with best wishes but told me that was just to damn long to be with one man.”

            “She’s a fruitcake!”

            “Sorry! I went off on a tangent.” Melissa shifted back to their mom topic, “What else you got?”

            “I figure by the time we get a call something will have happened.  I can’t and won’t fly down to take care of her.  I’m going to tell them to put her in a home. Or move her back to California with Anne.”

            “Jennifer would love that!  She hates mom being in the same state!”

            “You think Anne would agree to it?”

            “Who knows,” Melissa puffed out a breath of frustration, “She blatantly usurped us kids! She told Jennifer, when confronted as to why she helped mom do such a stupid thing, that she knew how unhappy mom was living here and couldn’t bring herself to tell her no! Jennifer told her that it was a big f’ing deal my being done with mom. She let her know she wasn’t going to take care of mom either.  I guess Anne’s eyes grew big, she asked what she was supposed to do with mom. In no uncertain terms Jennifer told Anne she’d have to take care of her or put her in a home. She knows where we stand.”

            “I will reinforce that, if she’ll even talk to me,” Sam said, “When mom went into the hospital while at Anne’s, she never returned my calls or texts. I think she knows where we stand and is afraid to talk to us.”

            “Who knows,” Melissa growled, “Ed has no respect for her and thinks she’s stupid!”

            “Well it is a family trait,” he poked at her.

            “Hey, speak for yourself knucklehead!”

            Sam chortled, “I knew that’d get your goat!”

            Melissa thppht him through the phone.

            “So, it sounds like we’re on the same page with this mom stuff,” Sam said more than asked.

            “Absolutely!”  She stated.  “You’d think people would figure out that if all her kids are done, then there must be a problem with her, other than we’re the ones with the problem.”

            “Hey Sis, you know there’s no point in trying to explain to someone not willing to understand,” he consoled her.

            “I know,” she said with sadness, “I’m glad my counselor has helped me with how to respond to people who aren’t willing to listen.  To tell them that the pain mother caused us needs to be valued, honored and respected.  Then leave it at that!”

            “Great advice,” he agreed, “It helped talking this out with you.  I have a game plan now.  I’ll tell people to kiss my rosy red ass!”

            “Yea right,” she pictured a huge grin on his face. “Bye, love you!”

            “Bye! Love you!”  He hung up.

            Melissa stared at the phone and couldn’t help but wonder what was going to happen with mother. It filled her with sorrow knowing things we’re only going to get worse and there wasn’t anything she could do to help.  Mother had seen to that with her false narrative about how she fell.  In this day and age, she couldn’t take a chance of someone hearing such a ridiculous accusation and report her for it.  She found comfort knowing Sam and Jennifer got it and totally supported her.  They weren’t done with mother because of her. They had their own valid reasons; this incident had only served as a catalyst for the inevitable.

            The very thing she’d spent a lifetime trying to keep from happening had anyway.  That which her mother feared most was coming upon her.  Destitute of her children, her mind slipping away, getting stuck in a nursing home far from loved ones. Alone in her old age.  Melissa sucked in a sharp breath, shook her head as a reminder to not go down that garden path, nothing good would come of it. Mother was not her responsibility. 

            “Let it go Melissa Ann!” She sharply told herself, “Your mother is in God’s perfectly capable hands!”