Twenty-two

            “Doofas!” Melissa fondly enveloped her brother in a big ole hug, “Get in here!”

            “Hey Sis,” Sam returned the bear hug, “Figured it was time to come see your old face!”

            Melissa slugged him in the shoulder and laughed, “Old!  That’s the pot calling the kettle black!  You joined the ‘60’s’ club last birthday, brother dearest!”

            “I’m still younger than you!” He mocked her.

            She stuck up three fingers stating, “Only by this much!”  Melissa stuck out her tongue as the last word. 

They jibber jabbered as Sam drug his stuff in and settled in the guest room.  He teased her about making sure he had clean sheets. He knew she escaped to the guest bed when Ed snored too loud.  He didn’t want any of her cooties, which resulted in another slug on the arm.

            “Where’s Ed?” Sam asked.

            “Ran to the liquor store. Said he didn’t have the scotch you liked,” she leaned on the door-jam as Sam un-packed.

            “He didn’t have to do that,” he protested. 

            “Too late,” she nonchalantly shrugged. “How was the drive down?”

            “As usual traffic through Seattle sucked!  They really need to do something about I-5! Portland’s almost as bad!”

            “So, I’ve heard!” Melissa remarked, “At least you made it safe and sound.”

            “No thanks to all the idiots on the road who love their idiocrasy,” Sam shook his head.

            Melissa guffawed, “Now that’s a perfect description if I ever heard one!”

            “I call um as I see um,” he grinned and placed his c-pap on the nightstand. “Believe me that’s mild compared to what I really think!”

            “Glad to hear you’re mellowing in your old age,” She said as they made their way to the kitchen. “You and Jen have road rage issues. But that’s what you two get for being city dwellers.”

            “We don’t have road rage issues! We just like to passionately express ourselves,” He smugly protested as he settled onto a barstool. “Something smells good.”

            “I figured you needed a decent meal so put a roast, potatoes, and carrots in the crock pot.”

            “Yum!  How is our little sister these days? I haven’t talked to her in a while.”

            “You know Jen, she’s busy doing what she loves, teaching.  The kids are busy with school.  Hard to believe Sarah will be a senior next year.  They’re already checking out colleges for her.”

            “I talked with Tim on Xbox last week, played Division together.  His voice is changing,” Sam smiled.

            “Well, it should! He turned fourteen last month,” Melissa said, “Jen said he stands eyeball to eyeball with her. He’s in size fourteen shoes.”

            “Man, how time flies!” Sam shook his head. “He’s going to be a big guy!”

            “He liked what the doctor told him, that he could get as tall as six four!”

            “I bet,” he laughed, “He seems like a pretty good kid.”

            “He is, both kids are.  Jen’s thankful that, so far,” Melissa knocked on wood, “neither of them have taken after her wild teenage ways.”

            “They have something she never had, a stable home life,” Sam stated with a nod.

            “True, she’s a great mom.”

            “You were a good role model for her,” Sam said, “Lord knows our mom wasn’t!”

            “I left home when she was five” she protested. “I think she figured out how to be a mom on her own.”

            “Don’t sell yourself short, Sis,” he said with sincerity, “We tell you all the time you’re the matriarch of the family.  If it weren’t for you being there, I don’t think we would’ve survived as well as we did.  Like Mom’s brother told you, the family expected us, kids, to end up in jail.”

            “Maybe so,” she grimaced, “you give me more credit than I deserve.”

            “I don’t think so!  Who do we call when we want to share our successes? Turn to when things aren’t going our way?  Share a funny with?  That would be you!”

            “I like it when you guys do that. I never wanted any of you to feel what I did as a kid. That no one was there for you.  I’m just glad I can be there for you guys!”

            “And that’s what we needed because mom wasn’t there for us. Oh, I know she was there to put a roof over our heads, food on the table, clothes on our backs.  Liked to think of herself as the fun mom. Our friends thought she was such a cool mom.  The bottom line is she wasn’t a mom, just a provider.  How many times, Sis, were you left to take care of Jen and I when she took off for a long weekend with some man?”

            “Several,” she plaintively replied.

            “That’s being too generous,” Sam admonished, “Dozens upon dozens I’m sure! What did you get in return from her? More responsibility!  As if that was rewarding enough!”

            “It wasn’t that bad!  She wasn’t a terrible mom,” Melissa protested, “We had a lot of freedom to do what we wanted, just so long as we didn’t lie to her.”

            “And therein lies the problem and why our Uncle figured we’d all end up in jail. Mom lucked out we didn’t get in more trouble.  I think of some of the crap I did and never got caught!  What kind of parenting is that?” He said with a frown.

            “I know! I know!” Melissa sighed, “That’s what I need to work on is admitting I tolerated the intolerable from mom.  I’ve always coped by comparing her to others who are ever so much worse than she was.  I have to stop doing that and look at how it really was.  Not cover it up with my go to; that’s just the way she is and always will be.”

            “Isn’t that what each of us has done?” Sam rhetorically asked, “Bought into the image Mom’s painted of herself. A Gypsy and proud of it. So, her kids should be as well. She likes thinking that’s what made us strong independent people, and there is a degree of truth in it.  I know a niece reinforced that in mom by telling her how she envied our self-confidence.  That was such a feather in mom’s cap.”

            “Don’t you think mom should get some credit for that?  I mean we are self-confident, successful people.”

            “Sis, it’s not because of her. It’s in spite of her. As I said, she lucked out. We made our own choices, and had to at a young age. What I want you to realize is we wouldn’t have been able to if you hadn’t been there for us.”

            “I hear what you’re saying,” Melissa softly said, “I had a melt down one day with Naomi. Trying to understand why it seemed easy for you and Jen to be so disengaged and done with mom.  She explained it was because I was there as your safety net, so you were free too.  As teenagers, you guys stopped respecting mom and were done with her.  I couldn’t and wasn’t able to because I was the parent.  Not only to you guys, but mom as well.  I remember a cousin telling me one time that it was as if I were the mom and mom the kid.  Jen’s told me when mom really wanted her to feel like she was in big trouble, she’d tell her; ‘I’m calling and telling Melissa what you did.’ I mean, how wrong is that!  It’s a wonder you guys don’t resent me, big time!”

            “What makes you think we don’t?” Sam smirked with a gleam in his eye then added, “Seriously Sis, I know all this mom crap has been eating at you. You need to let it go and get on with your life!”

            “Let’s just say I’m a work in progress,” she shyly replied.  “Naomi has given me some great, practical tools for “getting well.”  I’m getting there, honest.”

            “Good! You paid your dues with mom!  To hell with the people who don’t understand and think just because she’s old and a mom she deserves a pass on her shitty behavior as a mom,” he emphatically stated.

            Melissa laughed, “Leave it to you to cut to the chase! I still think your description of how she sounded on the phone when she called for your address is the best ever!”

            “You liked that did you!”  He said more than asked as he bobbed his eyebrows.

            “Big time!  I mean seriously, her cheese is really slipping off her cracker!  That was awesome!”  Melissa giggled as Sam let out a deep belly laugh.

            “What are you knot heads carrying on about?” Ed said startling the two of them.

            “Hey old man,” Sam stood, shook his brother-in-law’s hand and hugged him, “good to see you.”

            “Looks like you survived the drive down,” Ed slapped Sam on the back. 

            “Barely!” Sam grimaced, “I-5 is a royal pain in the arse!”

            “Better you than me,” Ed grinned wryly, “So what’s so funny?”

            “I reminded Sam of how he’d described mom slipping into dementia,” Melissa explained.

            “Oh, yea the cracker thing!”  Ed chuckled, “that was great!”

            “Of course, mom doesn’t think that’s the case,” Sam stated the obvious, “Just wait till her mind slips ever farther.  Now that’ll be very entertaining!”

            “You’ll be the one with a front row seat,” Melissa reminded him.

            “No problem,” Sam stated, “Like I told you, I’m waiting for the day I can say everything I’ve ever wanted to her. Knowing by the next day she’ll have forgotten it!”

            “More power to ya!” Melissa said.

            “You're more than welcome to join me,” Sam grinned.

            “No thank-you,” she shivered, “like I told her, if she ever sees me again it’ll be when she doesn’t know who I am.  But enough of mom. Ed why don’t you show Sam your new boat seats.  Maybe that’ll entice him to come back down and go fishing with you.”

            The men wandered out to the garage discussing boats, rods and how the worst day of fishing beat the best day of working.  Melissa tidied the kitchen and stilled the storm that threatened to rage within her, very thankful Sam had come down. He helped keep mother crap in perspective.  He and Jen were the only people who fully understood. There were plenty of tactics she could learn from them on how to handle the emotional baggage of their mom. She was grateful they were of the same mind set and had one another to lean on. If only those who didn’t understand were willing to listen to their stories.